Lesson 953
by imsocrazy
Summary: Third in the Lesson series. More of Severus' escapades in the muggle world. This time, the potions master goes head to head with... a mosquito. Rated T for safety's sake.


**How Not To Kill A Mosquito**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or mosquitoes or Doom. They all belong to someone else and I'm borrowing them for the time being.**

Author's Note: Okay first of all I would like to thank the following people for reviewing on my previous story Lesson 254- Lilith-kv, Iago96, Jane-Lily, KaraKedi, catsrules and sidney-deborah-999. You guys are so awesome and are the reason I'm actually now writing a series of these Lessons. Thank you for all your nice reviews. Secondly I think I need to make one thing clear before I start writing; I know that there are very few to no mosquitoes in the Northern Hemisphere but for plot purposes there are now. Any reviews which reprimand me for saying so will not be well received… okay if it was a joke that's fine but anything else such _as 'How incompetent can you be? Mosquitoes cannot survive in England.'_ Will not be cool with me. Okay so now that I have said my piece let us commence with the story. I hope you enjoy it as much as the previous one.

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Summer in England was unusually hot that year. During the day the sun beat down upon its victims and at night the tar roads and everything surrounding saw fit to release the pent up heat of the day; making sleep elusive. Of course having an apartment right in the middle of suburban Muggle London did not help in bringing temperatures down.

On one such night Harry Jameson Potter-Snape lay wrapped in his husband's, one Severus Snape, arms, a slight frown and rivulets of sweat marring his face. The Potion Master himself had thrown off his covers; his long, dark hair plastered to his head. Inside the room several fans worked their magic and two windows were wide open in an attempt to release the sweltering heat and bring in a cooling breeze. The evening was one of the few that the occupants had managed to get any sleep but, since Fate decided to be a bitch, their peaceful state- that really was too good to be true- was destined to be disturbed.

Outside, wandering around London was a lone mosquito searching for food, its hunger growing with each passing minute. Spotting the open window it flew in with the hopes of finding a donor from which to feast. It saw Harry first. Flying towards the retired seeker it journeyed to his arm, unknowingly passing Harry's ear on the way. Harry's face contorted in irritation and he waved his hand in an attempt to get rid of the insect, still not waking. His fingers met their mark and the mosquito span out of control

Buzzing in anger, the mosquito changed course and headed towards its next victim. As it flew past Severus' nose, dark eyes snapped open and glared at the noisy intruder. Grabbing his wand from the bedside table he turned to look for the mosquito, ears straining to hear the annoying buzzing. Upon hearing it close to his and Harry's wardrobe he pointed his wand in the direction.

"Avada kedavra" he growled, carefully limiting his will. The green light of the Killing curse hit the door, dissimilating upon contact. Annoyed, he turned on the bedside lamp and looked around. Seeing nothing, he switched the light off and turned to embrace his young husband. Just as he was about to return to the land of nod, he heard the buzz of the mosquito once more. Jumping out of the bed, unknowingly jostling Harry awake, the potions master turned the light on and scanned the room for the annoying creature. Seeing nothing once more, he turned to get back into bed when he was met with a death glare from his now very awake, very pissed off husband.

"Severus," Harry began slowly, letting irritation seep into his voice "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Severus cringed "I was looking for a mosquito?" he tried. Harry's glare increased "What, I've never had to deal with them before, they bug me."

Harry rubbed his face tiredly "Sev, I've been at the hospital for nearly 19 hours already. I'm exhausted and haven't had a decent night's sleep due to all the heat. Find the mosquito if you must but please do NOT disturb me in the process. If you do," he threatened, "the couch will be your best friends for a long time,"

Severus gulped. There was no way in Salazar's name he was going to sleep on the lumpy, uncomfortable, Harryless couch. He nodded mutely and Harry's glare disappeared as he gave his husband a soft smile punctuated by a yawn. Turning over, the boy who lived pulled the covers over his head and slept once more.

Severus breathed a sigh of relief; Harry could be a force to be reckoned with when he wanted to be; exactly what he wanted from the young man. Lighting his wand instead of the lamp, Severus continued his search for the insect-that-wouldn't-leave-him-be. Spotting it on the lampshade opposite, he quietly shouted "Avada Kedavra,"

The mosquito flew while the appliance burst into splinters of ceramic.

Grumbling and muttering obscenities under his breath, the dark haired man turned to see if the noise had awakened Harry. Luckily it hadn't. After a moment of indecision, Severus cast a mild sleeping charm on the elemental mage, being careful to regulate the strength knowing Harry was able to feel when magic was being performed on him. The only reaction he got was the petite man drawing the blankets closer to his person while turning his head into the pillow Severus used regularly.

Rejuvenated by the knowledge that he could no longer wake Harry, Severus began his assault on the mosquito anew.

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"Reducto!" he yelled pointing his wand at the door frame

"Crucio!" he continued, trailing the spell on the area he had seen the creature, destroying everything in his path.

Spotting the mosquito fly into the bathroom, the professor stalked inside.

'I've got you now menace," he thought as he closed the door.

Once again, a variety of spells were flung around until…

"Avada Kedavra!"

The mosquito dropped to the floor.

Severus stood with his chest heaving from the exertion. "That will teach you to never bother Severus Snape," the dark haired man growled to the dead insect, fixing its body with a glare. He straightened and began surveying the damage. He winced.

'If Harry sees this…' he thought in dread remembering the last time he had desecrated a room and the first time he had upset Harry into tears.

*Flashback*

"AGAIN SEVERUS, AGAIN YOU MANAGE TO DO THIS!" Harry yelled slinging his hand around the destroyed kitchen.

"Harry let me explain…" Severus tried to reason as the shorter man's magic began swirling around him.

"I GAVE YOU SO MANY CHANCES TO PROVE TO ME THAT YOU'RE ADULT ENOUGH TO BE LEFT ON YOUR OWN AND EACH TIME YOU MANAGE TO DESTROY SOMETHING!" Harry continued, oblivious to the whirlwind his emotions were creating.

Severus crossed his arms indignantly, insulted "I do not,"

Harry stopped his frantic pacing and laughed sarcastically, "Let's see, first it was the living room," he counted off "then it was the guest bedroom, then the other guest bedroom, then the hall and now THIS!"

Severus gave Harry an even stare "There were logical reasons for all those incidents. You must think me stupid Potter."

Harry turned away, the whirlwind of magic dying down, to look at the destroyed eating are and to hide his tears of frustration. "I don't think you're stupid Sev; in fact I think you're brilliant but I wish you'd put more effort into learning about our new lifestyle."

He whirled around to face the stunned man "Damn it Sev, I'm tired; tired of replacing and fixing things!" he shouted, tears falling freely. "I can't do it anymore. I work most days as well as you do and I just cannot carry on fixing your mistakes as well."

Severus wrapped his arms around the upset man and rested his head on the untamed mess of hair, letting Harry sob into his shirt. He felt extremely guilty now. He knew Harry worked at the hospital four times a week and was most likely exhausted during his free days and yet he expected him to be able to fix the mishaps he had in the muggle world regardless. It was shocking to realize that he was starting to treat his husband as he had been treated by the Wizarding World, the main reason why they had left in the first place. Sighing, he tried rectifying the situation.

"I'm sorry love; I never realized how you felt. I promise I'll try and be more careful in my endeavors and learn more about this world." He said softly while placing a kiss into the baby soft hair.

"That's all I ask," Harry murmured, sniffling a bit.

*End flashback*

'…I'm going to be MURDERED!'

Severus quietly tip toed into the bedroom where he also winced at the destruction he saw. 'I should control my anger better. This will take all night to fix'

Creeping to Harry's bedside table, the potions master opened the drawer slowly; pausing when Harry yawned and turned to face him.

'WHY HARRY WHY?' the hook-nosed man mentally screamed at his spouse. He continued pulling the drawer out carefully; sweat dripping down his face.

Finally, the drawer was open enough for Severus to slip his hand in and pull out the ward orb. Holing the lightly glowing glass up in triumph, he turned and found himself looking into wide open emerald green eyes. Severus paused in fright while Harry regarded him evenly, unblinkingly.

"Uh…Harry I can explain," the normally cool man stuttered.

The savior of the wizarding world didn't acknowledge him.

"Harry?" Severus ventured cautiously, waving a hand in from of the glazed emerald green eyes.

Still he received no acknowledgement.

Severus released his spouse from the sleeping spell but still there was no change in Harry's condition. Worried, the potions master placed the orb on the rumpled bed after breaking the wards on their bedroom and apparated Harry straight into the hospital wing.

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"Poppy, something's the matter with Harry!" Severus bellowed when they appeared in the white infirmary.

The nurse ran out of her office, flustered and dressed in her night clothes.

"Goodness Severus," she reprimanded "there's no need to shout like that."

She pulled out her wand and turned to fetch Harry's patient file "put the young Mr. Potter-Snape on his bed please."

The potions master carefully lowered his precious burden onto the bed the ex-seeker had frequently occupied during his school days. Severus then proceeded to pace the length of the infirmary in anxiety.

Poppy shook her head at her colleague and scanned the docile young man on the bed. She scanned him once more before giving a soft chuckle, attracting the attention of the worried Snape.

"There's nothing wrong with Harry, Severus," the nurse said in answer to the heated glare "He just suffers from somnambulism."

"Somna-what?" the dark-haired man queried.

Pomfrey sighed "sleep walking Severus. Your husband is a sleep walker."

Dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion "that's impossible, he's never sleep walked before."

"Well has Harry been fatigued lately, stressed?" the exasperate nurse asked as she noted something in the exceptionally thick file on the desk.

Severus thought back to the last time he had destroyed their apartment, a mere two weeks ago, and the increase in consultation hours Harry had recently been taking due to a measles outbreak among the hospital staff "Lately he has been working more hours at the hospital." He offered

"There you go then," Poppy replied dryly "stress and fatigue usually induce sleep walking."

Severus crossed his arms, still not convinced "Poppy," he drawled using his 'classroom' voice "there's a flaw in your reasoning. Harry was not walking around, he was just lying in bed looking like that," he exclaimed as he threw an arm out in Harry's direction. The nurse's giggle had him turn his head to see a now an empty bed.

"Poppy," the man croaked weakly

Pomfrey laughed outwardly "relax Severus. He's just gone to the headmaster's office. I saw him walk out while you were ranting. I spelled him to head to Albus' office. Thank goodness it's also on this floor. Shall we head him off?"

The stunned man simply nodded before they both floo'd upstairs. They found Albus, in his night robes, handing a confused Harry, with the sorting hat perched on his unruly hair, a cup of tea.

"Ah Poppy, Severus, I was wondering when you'd join us." The elderly wizard greeted with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Sev," Harry called "why are we at Hogwarts?"

The sound of his husband's voice snapped Severus Snape out of his reverie and he rushed over and thoroughly checked his young spouse for injury. Poppy then proceeded to perform another scan.

"Well Harry," she said "looks like you'll be spending the night in the infirmary once more."

"But Poppy…"Harry began

"But nothing," Poppy interrupted "you're spending the night."

The pediatrician sighed before giving his husband a hug before Severus floo'd back to their apartment.

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Severus returned to the apartment fully intending on returning to bed after the drama of the night. He pushed the door open to see the destruction from earlier.

He sighed tiredly, "Salazar, help me."

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Back at Hogwarts, Harry and Poppy sat in front of the fire in the nurse's office, a cup of hot chocolate in their hands.

"Do you think that husband of yours will ever learn dear?" the elderly witch asked as she passed the young healer the cream

"He'll learn eventually, after seeing how 'hazardous to my health' his actions are," Harry replied confidently "also, I train him well."

They both laughed before toasting to a lesson well taught.

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There you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Next Lesson will be coming soon. Let me know how many more you want from this series, and don't say one thousand; my imagination does not stretch that far. And remember, suggestions are ALWAYS welcome. Please review


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